...or what comes after all the voices go to sleep

Stairway to Heaven

2011-02-03T14:49:00.000-08:00

"I've lived a thousand lifetimes
To find a soul like yours
A soul so pure, a soul so brave
An angel who takes my breath away
I want to lie with you forever
My passion knows no bounds
I want to shield you from all evil
Protect this love we found
Love me with your spirit
Promise we'll never part
We aren't the same as others
We are forever lovers..."

Neruda mood

2011-01-25T10:55:00.000-08:00

Long ago, when I first read Neruda's love poems, I secretly dreamt that I'd once learn to know the same kind of feeling, to experience that emotion, no boundaries, no fear, just the freedom to know another being as you know yourself. Then time passed, and I learned to bury such dreams inside me, in my secret garden, so deep that I forgot the way to reach to them.
Good thing that not all is lost forever...sometimes, just sometimes, that thing you lost can find you...and only sometimes, if you're lucky enough, you get a second chance at freedom and happiness...and only a fool could let it all slip through her fingers ;) and momma didn't raise no fool =^..^=

Sonnet XVII

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

I Crave Your Mouth, Your Voice, Your Hair

I crave your mouth, your voice, your hair.
Silent and starving, I prowl through the streets.
Bread does not nourish me, dawn disrupts me, all day
I hunt for the liquid measure of your steps.

I hunger for your sleek laugh,
your hands the color of a savage harvest,
hunger for the pale stones of your fingernails,
I want to eat your skin like a whole almond.

I want to eat the sunbeam flaring in your lovely body,
the sovereign nose of your arrogant face,
I want to eat the fleeting shade of your lashes,

and I pace around hungry, sniffing the twilight,
hunting for you, for your hot heart,
like a puma in the barrens of Quitratue.

Come With Me, I Said, And No One Knew

Come with me, I said, and no one knew
where, or how my pain throbbed,
no carnations or barcaroles for me,
only a wound that love had opened.

I said it again: Come with me, as if I were dying,
and no one saw the moon that bled in my mouth
or the blood that rose into the silence.
O Love, now we can forget the star that has such thorns!

That is why when I heard your voice repeat
Come with me, it was as if you had let loose
the grief, the love, the fury of a cork-trapped wine

the geysers flooding from deep in its vault:
in my mouth I felt the taste of fire again,
of blood and carnations, of rock and scald.

Until...

2010-12-26T11:46:00.000-08:00

If I caught the world in a bottle
And everything was still beneath the moon
Without your love would it shine for me?

If I was smart as Aristotle
And understood the rings around the moon
What would it all matter if you love me?

Here in your arms where the world is impossibly still
With a million dreams to fulfill
And a matter of moments until the dancing ends.

Here in your arms when everything seems to be clear
Not a solitary thing would I fear
Except when this moment comes near the dancing's end.

If I caught the world in an hourglass
Saddled up the moon so we could ride
Until the stars grew dim
Until...

One day you'll meet a stranger
And all the noise is silenced in the room
You'll feel that you're close to some mystery.

In the moonlight when everything's shadows
You'll feel as if you've known her all your life
The world's oldest lesson in history.

Here in your arms where the world is impossibly still
With a million dreams to fulfill
And a matter of moments until the dancing ends.

Here in your arms when everything seems to be clear
Not a solitary thing do I fear
Except when this moment comes near the dancing's end

Oh if I caught the world in an hourglass
Saddled up the moon so we could ride
Until the stars grew dim
Until the time that time stands still
Until...

Gallows

2010-12-10T02:14:00.000-08:00

It was just before the moon hung
Her weary heavy head in
The gallows and the graves of
The milky milky cradle
His tears have turned to poppies
A shimmer in the midnight
A flower in the twilight
A flower in the twilight

And our screaming
Is in his screaming
Our screaming in the willow

They took him to the gallows
He fought them all the way though
And when they asked us how we knew his name
We died just before him
Our eyes are in the flowers
Our hands are in the branches
Our voices in the breezes

And our screaming
Is in his screaming
Our screaming in the willow tree

We're waiting by the willow
Our milky milky cradle
Our lockets long have rusted
His picture worn and weathered
Our hair is in the garden
The roses in our toeses
Our heart are in the blossoms
Our eyes are in the branches

And our screaming
Is in his screaming
Our screaming in the willow tree

Meiko Kaji mood

2010-11-21T03:57:00.000-08:00

Hana yo Kirei to, Odaterare,
Saite Misereba, Sugu Chirasareru.
Baka-na, Baka-na,
Baka-na On'na no... Urami-bushi.

Sadame Kanashi to, Akiramete,
Naki-wo Misereba, Mata Nakasareru.
On'na, On'na,
On'na Namida no... Urami-bushi.

Nikui, Kuyashii, Yurusenai.
Kesu ni Kienai, Wasure-rarenai.
Tsukinu, Tsukinu,
Tsukinu On'na no... Urami-bushi.

Yume yo Miren to, Warawarete,
Samete-misemasu, Mada Same-kirenu.
On'na, on'na,
On'na-nokoro no... Urami-bushi.

Makka-na Bara nya, Toge ga Aru.
Sashitaka-naiga Sasazu'nya-okanu.
Mo'eru, Mo'eru,
Mo'eru On'na-no... Urami-bushi.

Shinde Hanami ga, Sakuja Nashi,
Urami Hito-suji, Ikite-yuku.
On'na, On'na,
On'na Inochi no... Urami-bushi.

**********************************

You're beautiful, you're the flower, he praises you.
But if you bloom, he will get you scattered.
Stupid. So stupid.
I go so stupid singin' my grudge blues.

You can accept your pitiful fate.
But when you cry, he'll make you cry more.
Women, oh women,
It's women's tears that makes my grudge blues.

I hate you. Full of regret, never forgiven.
Try to erase my memory, but cannot forget you.
It never ends, never,
It never ends, 'cause that's my grudge blues.

They say it's a dream, embers of one-sided attachment,
laughing at you.
So you decide to wake up, but fear to be fully awake.
Women, oh women,
Women's soul beats on my grudge blues.

Crimson roses have its sharp thorns.
Don't wanna hurt you, but have to stab you with my thorn.
Burning, it's burning,
It keeps on burning within my grudge blues.

No flower would bloom on my dead body.
So I will live along hanging on my grudge.
Women, oh women,
My woman's life belongs to my grudge blues.

Shindeita
Asa ni
Tomorai no
Yuki ga furu

Hagure inu no
Touboe
Geta no
Otokishimu

Iin na naomosa
Mitsumete aruku
Yami wo dakishimeru
Janomeno kasa hitotsu

Inochi no michi wo
Yuku onna
Namida wa tooni
Sutemashita

Furimuita
Kawa ni
Toozakaru
Tabinohima

Itteta tsuru wa
Ugokasu
Naita
Ame to kaze

Kieta mizu mo ni
Hotsure ga miutsushi
Namida sae misenai
Janomeno kasa hitotsu

Urami no michi wo
Yuku onna
Kokoro wa tooni
Sutemashita

Giri mo nasake mo
Namida mo yume no
Kinou mo ashita mo
Henno nai kotoba

Urami no kawa ni
Mi wo yudanete
Honma wa tooni
Sutemashita

******************************************************

Begrieving snow falls in the dead morning
Stray dog's howls and the footsteops of Geta pierce the air
I walk with the weight of the Milky Way on my shoulders
But an umbrella that holds onto the darkness is all there is.
I'm a woman who walks at the brink of life and death
Who's emptied my tears many moons ago.
All the compassion tears and dreams
The snowy nights and tomorrow hold no meaning
I've immersed my body in the river of venegance
And thrown away my womanhood many moons ago
On the behalf of heaven, they're our soldiers, the loyal, invincible and brave.
Now it's time for them to leave the country of their
Parents their hearts buoyed by encouraging voices.
They are solemnly resolved not to return alive, without victory.
Here at home, the citizens wait for you.
In foreign lands, the brave troops
Instead of kindness from someone
I do not care about
I rather prefer selifshness from you my beloved.
Oh, it the world a dream or an illusion?
I am all alone in jail.

Dokka de oai shita koto arimasu ka?

2010-11-16T12:11:00.000-08:00

I'm sure I was probably asked
before I was born, by someone from somewhere
"I will make it so you can see
either the past or the future, so
which do you want?"

And then, I probably chose the past
So that I can become, so I may become
a kind person rather than a strong person
So that I understand what "memories" are

Continuing, That Somebody said to me
"arms, legs, mouths, ears, eyes,
hearts, breasts, and the holes in your nose,
I'll give you two of each, so
isn't that great?"

But I asked a favor
"I'm fine with just one mouth" I said
So that I don't fight with myself
So that I can only kiss one person

This kind of feeling that I want to forget, but can't
What do you call it?

That person with a slightly displeased face
He began to speak again, cuz he had to
"The heart, which is most important
I'll put one in each side of your chest, so
isn't that great?"

Yet again I asked a favor
I'm sorry, but as for me
I don't need the heart on my right side
sorry for always saying selfish things"

That is so that when I meet an important person
And I hold her
I will understand for the first time
That our two beats sound on both sides of our chest.

The left is mine, and the right is yours
The left is yours, and the right is mine
So that when I am alone, there is something missing
So that I do not live on alone

This kind of feeling that I want to forget, but can't
What do you call it?

My chest is a flutter, but this kind of feeling
that is so nostalgic, what do you call it?

"By the way, There's just one more thing
should I add "tears" as an option?
Even without it, there is no impediment, but
some people don't add it, because it's a pain.
What will you do?"

And then, I asked a for it
So that I can become, so I may become
a kind person rather than a strong person
So that I understand what "importance" is

"So, by the way, as for the flavor of the tears
choose a flavor you like
They're sour, salty,
hot, sweet,
choose any one you like
Which one do you want?"

Has everything been granted
the way you hoped?
So show me your face
that is always crying
well, show me proudly"

"Thank you very much
Sorry to have troubled you with so much
May I ask just one last thing?
Have we met somewhere before?"

Victor Hugo - Demain, dès l'aube

2010-11-09T15:45:00.000-08:00

Demain, dès l'aube, à l'heure où blanchit la campagne,
Je partirai. Vois-tu, je sais que tu m'attends.
J'irai par la forêt, j'irai par la montagne.
Je ne puis demeurer loin de toi plus longtemps.

Je marcherai les yeux fixés sur mes pensées,
Sans rien voir au dehors, sans entendre aucun bruit,
Seul, inconnu, le dos courbé, les mains croisées,
Triste, et le jour pour moi sera comme la nuit.

Je ne regarderai ni l'or du soir qui tombe,
Ni les voiles au loin descendant vers Harfleur,
Et quand j'arriverai, je mettrai sur ta tombe
Un bouquet de houx vert et de bruyère en fleur.

Charles Baudelaire - Femmes Damnées (Delphine et Hippolyte)

2010-10-30T14:57:00.000-07:00

À la pâle clarté des lampes languissantes,
Sur de profonds coussins tout imprégnés d'odeur
Hippolyte rêvait aux caresses puissantes
Qui levaient le rideau de sa jeune candeur.

Elle cherchait, d'un oeil troublé par la tempête,
De sa naïveté le ciel déjà lointain,
Ainsi qu'un voyageur qui retourne la tête
Vers les horizons bleus dépassés le matin.

De ses yeux amortis les paresseuses larmes,
L'air brisé, la stupeur, la morne volupté,
Ses bras vaincus, jetés comme de vaines armes,
Tout servait, tout parait sa fragile beauté.

Étendue à ses pieds, calme et pleine de joie,
Delphine la couvait avec des yeux ardents,
Comme un animal fort qui surveille une proie,
Après l'avoir d'abord marquée avec les dents.

Beauté forte à genoux devant la beauté frêle,
Superbe, elle humait voluptueusement
Le vin de son triomphe, et s'allongeait vers elle,
Comme pour recueillir un doux remerciement.

Elle cherchait dans l'oeil de sa pâle victime
Le cantique muet que chante le plaisir,
Et cette gratitude infinie et sublime
Qui sort de la paupière ainsi qu'un long soupir.

— «Hippolyte, cher coeur, que dis-tu de ces choses?
Comprends-tu maintenant qu'il ne faut pas offrir
L'holocauste sacré de tes premières roses
Aux souffles violents qui pourraient les flétrir ?

Mes baisers sont légers comme ces éphémères
Qui caressent le soir les grands lacs transparents,
Et ceux de ton amant creuseront leurs ornières
Comme des chariots ou des socs déchirants;

Ils passeront sur toi comme un lourd attelage
De chevaux et de boeufs aux sabots sans pitié...
Hippolyte, ô ma soeur! tourne donc ton visage,
Toi, mon âme et mon tout, mon tout et ma moitié,

Tourne vers moi tes yeux pleins d'azur et d'étoiles!
Pour un de ces regards charmants, baume divin,
Des plaisirs plus obscurs je lèverai les voiles,
Et je t'endormirai dans un rêve sans fin!»

Mais Hippolyte alors, levant sa jeune tête:
— «Je ne suis point ingrate et ne me repens pas,
Ma Delphine, je souffre et je suis inquiète,
Comme après un nocturne et terrible repas.

Je sens fondre sur moi de lourdes épouvantes
Et de noirs bataillons de fantômes épars,
Qui veulent me conduire en des routes mouvantes
Qu'un horizon sanglant ferme de toutes parts.

Avons-nous donc commis une action étrange ?
Explique, si tu peux, mon trouble et mon effroi:
Je frissonne de peur quand tu me dis: 'Mon ange!'
Et cependant je sens ma bouche aller vers toi.

Ne me regarde pas ainsi, toi, ma pensée!
Toi que j'aime à jamais, ma soeur d'élection,
Quand même tu serais une embûche dressée
Et le commencement de ma perdition!»

Delphine secouant sa crinière tragique,
Et comme trépignant sur le trépied de fer,
L'oeil fatal, répondit d'une voix despotique:
— «Qui donc devant l'amour ose parler d'enfer ?

Maudit soit à jamais le rêveur inutile
Qui voulut le premier, dans sa stupidité,
S'éprenant d'un problème insoluble et stérile,
Aux choses de l'amour mêler l'honnêteté!

Celui qui veut unir dans un accord mystique
L'ombre avec la chaleur, la nuit avec le jour,
Ne chauffera jamais son corps paralytique
À ce rouge soleil que l'on nomme l'amour!

Va, si tu veux, chercher un fiancé stupide;
Cours offrir un coeur vierge à ses cruels baisers;
Et, pleine de remords et d'horreur, et livide,
Tu me rapporteras tes seins stigmatisés...

On ne peut ici-bas contenter qu'un seul maître!»
Mais l'enfant, épanchant une immense douleur,
Cria soudain: — «Je sens s'élargir dans mon être
Un abîme béant; cet abîme est mon coeur!

Brûlant comme un volcan, profond comme le vide!
Rien ne rassasiera ce monstre gémissant
Et ne rafraîchira la soif de l'Euménide
Qui, la torche à la main, le brûle jusqu'au sang.

Que nos rideaux fermés nous séparent du monde,
Et que la lassitude amène le repos!
Je veux m'anéantir dans ta gorge profonde,
Et trouver sur ton sein la fraîcheur des tombeaux!»

— Descendez, descendez, lamentables victimes,
Descendez le chemin de l'enfer éternel!
Plongez au plus profond du gouffre, où tous les crimes
Flagellés par un vent qui ne vient pas du ciel,

Bouillonnent pêle-mêle avec un bruit d'orage.
Ombres folles, courez au but de vos désirs;
Jamais vous ne pourrez assouvir votre rage,
Et votre châtiment naîtra de vos plaisirs.

Jamais un rayon frais n'éclaira vos cavernes;
Par les fentes des murs des miasmes fiévreux
Filtrent en s'enflammant ainsi que des lanternes
Et pénètrent vos corps de leurs parfums affreux.

L'âpre stérilité de votre jouissance
Altère votre soif et roidit votre peau,
Et le vent furibond de la concupiscence
Fait claquer votre chair ainsi qu'un vieux drapeau.

Loin des peuples vivants, errantes, condamnées,
À travers les déserts courez comme les loups;
Faites votre destin, âmes désordonnées,
Et fuyez l'infini que vous portez en vous!

Of Beren and Lúthien

2010-10-08T15:39:00.000-07:00

A king there was in days of old:
ere Men yet walked upon the mould
his power was reared in cavern's shade,
his hand was over glen and glade.
His shields were shining as the moon,
his lances keen of steel were hewn,
of silver grey his crown was wrought,
the starlight in his banners caught;
and silver thrilled his trumpets long
beneath the stars in challenge strong;
enchantment did his realm enfold,
where might and glory, wealth untold,
he wielded from his ivory throne
in many-pillared halls of stone.
There beryl, pearl, and opal pale,
and metal wrought like fishes' mail,
buckler and corslet, axe and sword,
and gleaming spears were laid in hoard —
all these he had and loved them less
than a maiden once in Elfinesse;
for fairer than are born to Men
a daughter had he, Lúthien.

The wind dies; the starry choirs
leap in the silent sky to fires,
whose light comes bitter-cold and sheer
through domes of frozen crystal clear.
A sparkle through the darkling trees,
a piercing glint of light he sees,
and there she dances all alone
upon a treeless knoll of stone!
Her mantle blue with jewels white
caught all the rays of frosted light,
She shone with cold and wintry flame,
as dancing down the hill she came,
and passed his watchful silent gaze,
a glimmer as of stars ablaze.

He gazed, and as he gazed her hair
within its cloudy web did snare
the silver moonbeams sifting white
between the leaves, and glinting bright
the tremulous starlight of the skies
was caught and mirrored in her eyes.

........

"Again she fled, but swift he came.
Tinúviel! Tinúviel!
He called her by her elvish name;
And there she halted listening.
One moment stood she, and a spell
His voice laid on her: Beren came,
And doom fell on Tinúviel
That in his arms lay glistening.

As Beren looked into her eyes
Within the shadows of her hair,
The trembling starlight of the skies
He saw there mirrored shimmering.
Tinúviel the elven-fair,
Immortal maiden elven-wise,
About him cast her shadowy hair
And arms like silver glimmering.

Long was the way that fate them bore,
O'er stony mountains cold and grey,
Through halls of ireon and darkling door,
And woods of nightshade morrowless.
The Sundering Seas between them lay,
And yet at last they met once more,
And long ago they passed away
In the forest singing sorrowless."

Whispers of a Distant Star

2010-10-07T14:28:00.000-07:00

Je n'ai pas peur de la route
Faudrait voir, faut qu'on y goûte
Des méandres au creux des reins
Et tout ira bien là
Le vent nous portera

Ton message à la Grande Ourse
Et la trajectoire de la course
Un instantané de velours
Même s'il ne sert à rien va
Le vent l'emportera
Tout disparaîtra mais
Le vent nous portera

La caresse et la mitraille
Et cette plaie qui nous tiraille
Le palais des autres jours
D'hier et demain
Le vent les portera

Génetique en bandouillère
Des chromosomes dans l'atmosphère
Des taxis pour les galaxies
Et mon tapis volant dis ?
Le vent l'emportera
Tout disparaîtra mais
Le vent nous portera

Ce parfum de nos années mortes
Ce qui peut frapper à ta porte
Infinité de destins
On en pose un et qu'est-ce qu'on en retient?
Le vent l'emportera

Pendant que la marée monte
Et que chacun refait ses comptes
J'emmène au creux de mon ombre
Des poussières de toi
Le vent les portera
Tout disparaîtra mais
Le vent nous portera

There's a secret garden she hides

2010-09-22T08:54:00.000-07:00

She'll let you in her house
If you come knockin' late at night
She'll let you in her mouth
If the words you say are right
If you pay the price
She'll let you deep inside
But there's a secret garden she hides
She'll let you in her car
To go drivin' 'round
She'll let you into the parts of herself
That'll bring you down
She'll let you in her heart
If you got a hammer and a vise
But into her secret garden, don't think twice

You've gone a million miles
How far'd you get
To that place where you can't remember
And you can't forget

She'll lead you down a path
There'll be tenderness in the air
She'll let you come just far enough
So you know she's really there
Then she'll look at you and smile
And her eyes will say
She's got a secret garden
Where everything you want
Where everything you need
Will always stay
A million miles away

Say...will you dream with me tonight...?

2010-09-16T05:08:00.000-07:00

There's a faerie in my head and I call her Lady Rosenred
Why she came there I don't know, no I don't know

We wander worlds sometimes
Green forests, stars and stories
A secret time under three moons

We walk the clouds at times
And ride on dragon faeries
A drink with friends under three moons

Say... will you dream with me tonight, under moonlit skies?

We run the hills sometimes
Do battles upon evil
A bard so sings within the shadows

We turn the ghosts around
And jam with angry mages
A silent dream within the shadows

Say... will you dream with me tonight, under moonlit skies?

And then we turn around
And find all forests gone
And find all stars and stories gone

And then we turn around
And find all faeries gone
And find all dragons faeries gone

Say... will you dream with me tonight..?

Lake of Tears- Lady Rosenred
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Gabrielle Angelique - Ancient Souls

2010-09-06T16:03:00.001-07:00

Walking through the mist, she listens with her heart,
Searching for someone to touch her soul.
Shadows up ahead, hiding in the trees,
She’s young but she feels so very old.

Sounds are running less--the silence of the night,
Blend and mix together all around.
Star crossed lovers pass, not seeing through the dark,
To ancient lands where souls run aground.
She’s lost upon the road, her ancient soul;
She’s searching for someone to touch her soul.
The other love part of her soul, this treasure is her goal.
Wandering among love’s hidden shores.

Her heart is old, it's light is lost;
She wants to be complete at any cost.
She wandered the mists, searched every road;
She wants someone to share her load.

One is very old for the wandering of souls,
We’ve searched through many lives upon the earth.
When we find our way, we’ll mist the world away
With the union of two very ancient souls.

She’s lost upon the road, her ancient soul;
She’s searching for someone to touch her soul.
The other love part of her soul, this treasure is her goal.
Wandering among love’s hidden shores.

*He said this should be my song, it reminds him of me. How could he have known this was a song I loved so much once?*

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Can I actually still believe in this?

2010-09-06T06:57:00.000-07:00

I'm still negotiating the terms of acceptance :) maybe I do still believe it...

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Lately I’ve been thinking
That forever is just a lie
‘Cause I’ve remembered all the pain I felt
When my only true love died
But last night I got the feeling
There was a spirit in the air
I lit a candle and I held my breath
I swear I saw you standing there
You spoke to me in whispers
And I melted at what I heard
There were echoes from the other side
In each and every word

Said love is undying
True love never dies
We’ll meet up again
‘Cause love has no end
Love is undying
I’m so glad I saw you
I shivered inside
When you closed your eyes
But love is undying

And last night I dreamed a dream of you
Where you took me to the other side
You looked so happy, not a trace of tears
And I could not help but cry
You said I wasn’t ready
To tell my world goodbye
But you’d wait for me until the end of time
And forever is not a lie

Love is undying
True love never dies
We’ll meet up again
‘Cause love has no end
No love is undying
I’m so glad I saw you
I shivered inside
When you said goodbye
But love is undying
Love is undying
Undying
Undying

Love is undying
True love never dies
We’ll meet up again
‘Cause love has no end
No love is undying
I’m so glad I saw you
I shivered inside
When you said goodbye
But love is undying
Love is undying
There’s no denying
You’re heaven sent
You came and you went
But love is undying
Love is undying
Love is undying
Undying
Love is undying
Love is undying

Bring me your peace and my wounds, they will heal

2010-09-06T04:35:00.000-07:00

Some things never die...
This is always me, I guess...

I hear your voice on the wind
And I hear you call out my name

Listen my child you say to me
I am the voice of your history
Be not afraid - come follow me
Answer my call and I´ll set you free
I am the voice in the wind and the pouring rain
I am the voice of your hunger and pain
I am the voice that always is calling you
I am the voice and I will remain

I am the voice in the fields when the Summer´s gone
The dance of the leaves when the Autumn winds blow
N'er do I sleep throughout all the cold Winter long
I am the force that in Springtime will grow

I am the voice of the past that will always be
Filled with my sorrow and blood in my fields
I am the voice of the future
Bring me your peace, bring me your peace
And my wounds they will heal
I am the voice in the wind and the pouring rain
I am the voice of your hunger and pain
I am the voice that always is calling you
I am the voice

I am the voice of the past that will always be
I am the voice of your hunger and pain
I am the voice of the future
I am the voice

The Stolen Child - William Butler Yeats

2010-05-14T13:59:00.000-07:00

Where dips the rocky highland
Of Sleuth Wood in the lake,
There lies a leafy island
Where flapping herons wake
The drowsy water-rats;
There we've hid our faery vats,
Full of berries
And of the reddest stolen cherries.
Come away, O human child!
To the waters and the wild
With a faery, hand in hand,
For the world's more full of weeping than you can understand.

Where the wave of moonlight glosses
The dim grey sands with light,
Far off by furthest Rosses
We foot it all the night,
Weaving olden dances,
Mingling hands and mingling glances
Till the moon has taken flight;
To and fro we leap
And chase the frothy bubbles,
While the world is full of troubles
And is anxious in its sleep.
Come away, O human child!
To the waters and the wild
With a faery, hand in hand,
For the world's more full of weeping than you can understand.

Where the wandering water gushes
From the hills above Glen-Car,
In pools among the rushes
That scarce could bathe a star,
We seek for slumbering trout
And whispering in their ears
Give them unquiet dreams;
Leaning softly out
From ferns that drop their tears
Over the young streams
Come away, O human child!
To the waters and the wild
With a faery, hand in hand,
For the world's more full of weeping than you can understand.

Away with us he's going,
The solemn eyed:
He'll hear no more the lowing
Of the calves on the warm hillside
Or the kettle on the hob
Sing peace into his breast,
Or see the brown mice bob
Round and round the oatmeal-chest.
For he comes, the human child!
To the waters and the wild
With a faery, hand in hand,
From a world more full of weeping than he can understand.

D'espairsRay - Forbidden

2010-05-04T00:03:00.000-07:00

Dau vina pe Karma Police pentru revenirea in putere a j-rock-ului in playlistul meu din dimineata asta :P

Wislawa Szymborska – Nevasta lui Lot

2010-04-25T03:16:00.000-07:00

Probabil am privit în urmă din curiozitate.
Dar e posibil să fi avut şi alte motive.
Am privit în urmă jelindu-mi vasul de argint.
Din neatenţie, în timp ce-mi încheiam sandala.
Să nu mai văd ceafa plină de virtuţi
a soţului meu, Lot.
Ştiam că nici de-aş cădea moartă
nu s-ar opri din drum.
Din nesupunerea unui om înjosit.
Cercetând dacă pe urme îmi călca cineva.
Lovită de tăcere, sperând că Dumnezeu se răzgândise.
Cele două fiice ale noastre dispăruseră peste vârf de deal.
Simţeam cum îmbătrânesc. Distanţă.
Rătăceam fără sens. Toropeală.
Am privit în urmă aşezându-mi desaga pe pământ.
Am privit în urmă cu teamă, neştiind încotro să păşesc.
În cale mi-au apărut şerpi,
păianjeni, şoareci de câmp, şi pui de vulturi.
Nici buni, nici răi. Pur şi simplu orice vietate
se chinuia să răzbată prin panica iscată.
Am privit în urmă devastată.
Ruşinată pentru că mă furişam.
Pentru că-mi venea să urlu, să mă-ntorc.
Sau doar pentru rafala de vânt ce mi-a despletit părul
şi mi-a-ndepărtat pentru o clipă veşmântul ce m-acoperea.
I-am simţit privindu-mă de pe zidurile Sodomei,
i-am simţit izbucnind în râs, o dată şi încă o dată.
Am privit în urmă cu mânie.
Savurându-le soarta cumplită.
Am privit în urmă pentru toate cele menţionate mai sus.
Am privit în urmă fără vreo intenţie.
O piatră mi s-a rotit sub talpă, mârâind la mine.
Brusc, pământul s-a despicat şi mi-a tăiat drumul.
Pe-o margine de crăpătură un hârciog păşea mărunt,
şi-n acel moment amândoi am privit în urmă.
Nu, nu. Am continuat să alerg,
m-am târât, am încercat să zbor
până când întunericul s-a prăvălit din ceruri
şi odată cu el ţărână şi păsări moarte.
N-am putut să respir şi m-am rotit fără sens.
De cineva m-ar fi văzut şi-ar fi închipuit că dansam.
Probabil am avut ochii deschişi.
Probabil am căzut cu faţa spre oraş.

Sebastian

2010-03-17T15:42:00.000-07:00

Radiate simply, the candle is burning
so low for me
Generate me limply, I can't seem to place
your name, cherie
To rearrange all these thoughts in a moment
is suicide
Come to a strange place, we'll talk over old times
we never spied

Somebody called me Sebastian
Somebody called me Sebastian

Work out a rhyme, toss me the time, lay me --
you're mine
And we all know, oh yeah!

Your Persian eyes sparkle, your lips -- ruby blue --
never speak a sound
You, oh so gay, with Parisian demands,
you can run around
And your view of society screws up my mind
like you'll never know
Lead me away, come inside,
see my mind in kaleidoscope

Somebody called me Sebastian
Somebody called me Sebastian

Love me sublime, mangle my mind -
do it in style
so we all know , oh yeah!

You`re not gonna run, baby we`ve only just begun, baby
to compromise
Slagged in a bowery saloon love`s a story
we`ll serialise
Pale angel face,green-eye shadow, the glitter
is outaside
No courtesan could begin to decipher
your beam of light

Somebody called me Sebastian
Somebody called me Sebastian

Dance on my heart, laugh swoop and dart,
la-di-di-da

Now we all know you , yeah !

You judged me once for falling

2010-03-03T13:36:00.000-08:00

I have burned my tomorrow
And I stand inside today
At the edge of the future
And my dreams all fade away
I have burned my tomorrow
And I stand inside today
At the edge of the future
And my dreams all fade away
And burn my shadow away
And burn my shadow away
Fate’s my destroyer
I was ambushed by the light
And you judged me once for falling
This wounded heart arrives
And burn my shadow away
And burn my shadow away
When I see the light
True love forever
When I see the light
True love forever
When I see the light
True love forever
When I see the light
True love forever
Burn my shadow
When I see the light
True love forever
When I see the light
True love forever
Oh burn my shadow
When I see the light
True love forever
Away
And burn my shadow away
Oh how I loved you

...in every part of me is still a part of you

2010-02-11T13:09:00.000-08:00

I thought you'd be out of my mind
And I'd finally found a way to learn to live without you
I thought it was just a matter of time
Till I had a hundred reasons not to think about you

But it's just not so
And after all this time, I still can't let go

I've still got your face
Painted on my heart
Scrawled upon my soul
Etched upon my memory, baby

I've got your kiss
Still burning on my lips
The touch of my fingertips
This love so deep inside of me, baby

I've tried everything that I can
To get my heart to forget you
But it just can't seem to

I guess it's just no use
In every part of me
Is still a part of you

And I've still got your face
Painted on my heart
Scrawled upon my soul
Etched upon my memory, baby

I've got your kiss
Still burning on my lips
The touch of her fingertips
This love so deep inside of me, baby

I've still got your face
Painted on my heart
Painted on my heart
Painted on my heart, oh baby

Something in your eyes keeps haunting me
I'm trying to escape you
And I know there ain't no way to
To chase you from my mind

I've still got your face
Painted on my heart
Scrawled upon my soul
Etched upon my memory baby

I've got your kiss
Still burning on my lips
The touch of my fingertips
This love so deep inside of me, baby

I've still got your face
I've still got your face
Painted on my heart
Painted on my heart

Asculta mai multe audio Muzica

Litany Against Fear

2010-02-07T05:08:00.000-08:00

"I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain." (The Bene Gesserit prayer from "Dune")

Seara de povesti pentru cei mici si cei mari

2010-01-28T12:45:00.000-08:00

Seara de povesti pentru cei mici si cei mari

.....

2010-01-24T06:41:00.000-08:00

I'm a fountain of blood
In the shape of a girl
You're the bird on the brim
Hypnotised by the Whirl

Drink me, make me feel real
Wet your beak in the stream
Game we're playing is life
Love is a two way dream

Leave me now, return tonight
Tide will show you the way
If you forget my name
You will go astray
Like a killer whale
Trapped in a bay

I'm a path of cinders
Burning under your feet
You're the one who walks me
I'm your one way street

I'm a whisper in water
Secret for you to hear
You are the one who grows distant
When I beckon you near

Leave me now, return tonight
The tide will show you the way
If you forget my name
You will go astray
Like a killer whale
Trapped in a bay

I'm a tree that grows hearts
One for each that you take
You're the intruder hand
I'm the branch that you break

Leave me now, return tonight
The tide will show you the way
If you forget my name
You will go astray
Like a killer whale
Trapped in a bay

(Sjon - lyrics for Bjork's Bachelorette)

...

2010-01-21T04:52:00.000-08:00

God does not play dice with the universe: He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players [i.e. everybody], to being involved in an obscure and complex variant of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.

(Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman - "Good Omens")

My quote of the day

2010-01-06T02:10:00.000-08:00

The figures looked more or less human. And they were engaged in religion. You could tell by the knives (it's not murder if you do it for a god).

-- (Terry Pratchett, Small Gods)

Standing next to me

2009-11-25T01:50:00.000-08:00

Nu ma pot abtine ^^ o fac numai pentru ca-mi place cum arata expus asa, in the open. There, I've said it, it's out: I like this song :"> *bounces around the room*

The Last Shadow Puppets - Standing next to me

Want her, have her
Two years have gone now
But I can't relate
To the never ending
Games that you play
As desire passes through
then you're open
To the truth
I hope you understand
And your love
Is standing next to me
Is standing next to me

The one you fell for
makes it seem juvenile
And you'll laugh
At yourself
Again and again
And we'll drink
To the thought
She'll remember you
Maybe tomorrow

And your love
Is standing next to me
Is standing next to me
And your love
Is standing next to me
Is standing next to me
Is standing next to me
Is standing next to me

Want her, have her
Two years have gone now
But I can't relate
To the never ending
Games that you play
As desire passes through
Then you're open
To the truth
I hope you understand

And your love
Is standing next to me
Is standing next to me
Is standing next to me
Is standing next to me

My single greatest fear

2009-11-25T01:34:00.000-08:00

Revenind cu seria pieselor care ma obsedeaza in ultima vreme, here goes one of the power songs in my playlist:

Honeyhoney - Little Toy Gun

I know you sat alone so many nights waiting for me
Cold, your face like a stone, I hang up the phone when we disagree
Standing there by my side when the fighting is done
Glaring at me in the light is my little toy gun

Shiny & black like shoes on a rack with a trigger that's dressed up in gold
It's always warm inside my home but it's handle is always so cold
Whispering into my ear, all the lies you spun
My single greatest fear is my little toy gun

Wait for the day when I can save face and come to a happy home
I know it's turning me to the count of girl who'd rather be alone
Just wait til I get my way -- I promise you it won't be fun
If you feel like you should pray, pray for my little toy gun

Queen of Pain

2009-07-10T14:23:00.000-07:00

There's a little black spot on the sun today
It's the same old thing as yesterday
There's a black cat caught in a high tree top
There's a flag-pole rag and the wind won't stop

I have stood here before inside the pouring rain
With the world turning circles running 'round my brain
I guess I'm always hoping that you'll end this reign
But it's my destiny to be the Queen of pain

There's a little black spot on the sun today
(That`s my soul up there)
It's the same old thing as yesterday
(That`s my soul up there)
There's a black cat caught in a high tree top
(That`s my soul up there)
There's a flag-pole rag and the wind won't stop
(That`s my soul up there)

I have stood here before inside the pouring rain
With the world turning circles running 'round my brain
I guess I'm always hoping that you'll end this reign
But it's my destiny to be the Queen of pain

There's a fossil that's trapped in a high cliff wall
(That`s my soul up there)
There's a dead salmon frozen in a waterfall
(That`s my soul up there)
There's a blue whale beached by a spring tide's ebb
(That`s my soul up there)
There's a butterfly trapped in a spider's web
(That`s my soul up there)

I have stood here before inside the pouring rain
With the world turning circles running 'round my brain
I guess I'm always hoping that you'll end this reign
But it's my destiny to be the Queen of pain

There's a king on a throne with his eyes torn out
There's a blind man looking for a shadow of doubt
There's a rich man sleeping on a golden bed
There's a skeleton choking on a crust of bread

Queen of pain

There's a red fox torn by a huntsman's pack
There's a black-winged gull with a broken back
There's a little black spot on the sun today
It's the same old thing as yesterday

I have stood here before inside the pouring rain
With the world turning circles running 'round my brain
I guess I'm always hoping that you'll end this reign
But it's my destiny to be the Queen of pain

Queen of pain
I'll always be Queen of pain
I'll always be Queen of pain

Alanis Morisette - King of Pain
Asculta mai multe audio Muzica

The Children's Bible in a Nutshell

2009-06-07T04:58:00.000-07:00

In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, 'The Lord thy God is one, but I think He must be a lot older than that. Anyway, God said, 'Give me a light!' and someone did. Then God made the world. He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren't embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been invented yet. Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden. Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn't have cars. Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel. Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something. One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a Ham. Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check. After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat. Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston. Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh's people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable. God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti. Then he gave them His Top Ten Commandments. These include: don't lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbor's stuff. Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor thy father and thy mother. One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town. After Joshua came David. He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn't sound very wise to me. After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets. One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed up on the shore. There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don't have to worry about them. After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the star of The New. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn. (I wish I had been born in a barn too, because my mom is always saying to me, 'Close the door! Were you born in a barn?' It would be nice to say, 'As a matter of fact, I was.') During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Republicans. Jesus also had twelve opossums. The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him. Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount. But the Republicans and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didn't stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead. Anyway, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again. He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminum. His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.

2009-02-09T07:45:00.000-08:00

Placebo - "Without You I'm Nothing"

Strange infatuation seems to grace the evening tide.
I'll take it by your side.
Such imagination seems to help the feeling slide.
I'll take it by your side.
Instant correlation sucks and breeds a pack of lies.
I'll take it by your side.
Oversaturation curls the skin and tans the hide.
I'll take it by your side.

tick - tock [x3]
tick - tick - tick - tick - tick - tock

I'm unclean, a libertine
And every time you vent your spleen,
I seem to lose the power of speech,
You're slipping slowly from my reach.
You grow me like an evergreen,
You never see the lonely me at all

I...
Take the plan, spin it sideways.
I...
Fall.
Without you, I'm Nothing.
Without you, I'm nothing.
Without you, I'm nothing.
Take the plan, spin it sideways.
Without you, I'm nothing at all.

Dreams of Fire

2008-10-11T07:26:00.000-07:00

Ordo Rosarius Equilibrio - Hear the Sound of a Black Flame Rising

Dreams made of fire; black is the flame which awakens desire
Tongues touched by fire; defeat the truth and spurn the liar
Pain feeds desire; and sooths the skin inflamed by fire
Blood lights the pyres; I dream of her that breeds desire

Lust loves the fire; let no gods see our souls' desires
Blood loves desire; in lust we burn and praise the fire
Gods made of fire; live in her who serves desire
Life made of fire; we drink the wine of gods' desires

Hate loves the liar; dreams are made of blood and fire
Blood sperm and fire; if gods could speak they'd speak of fire

Dreams made of fire; black is the flame which awakens desire
Blood serves desire; and licks the skin untouched by fire
Hate roused by fire; our needs combined consume desire
Lust lights the fire; let no god see my soul's desires

Stars born of fire; immerse my soul with gods' desire
Blood touched by fire; in tongues you speak and praise desire
Life raised in fire; lust ascends from blood and fire
Love lights the pyres; black is the heart which submits to desire

Sleeping with Ghosts

2008-07-23T10:24:00.000-07:00

“Inca nu stiu exact de ce incep sa-ti scriu asta, nici macar ce urmeaza exact sa-ti spun. Stiu numai ca am simtit necesitatea de a o face. Tu, singurul care poate ai intelege. Am inteles, la randul meu, falsul paradox al intelegerii – neintelegerii noastre. Incerc sa redefinesc in grila mea subintelesul. Probabil ca in asta sta problema: straturile evidentei si pragurile de interpretare. Poate ca obisnuinta de a citi prea mult / prea adanc a schimbat pragul de evidenta; asta, insa, afara a inlatura incertitudinea. Intotdeauna va ramane in picioare acel: “Dar daca ma insel?” Pana la urma, avem aceeasi problema, numai ca unul opreste hermeneutica prea tarziu, altul prea devreme. Si pozitiile acestea sunt oscilante, am observat.
La fel cum ma tem de umilinta de a spune unor lucruri pe nume. Este locul sensibil, dureros, unde nu poti smulge constant crusta de sange prospat coagulat. Adevarurile spuse ascund mai bine decat minciunile adevarurile dureroase. Exista acele locuri ascunse in care durerea te ingenuncheaza. Cum sa-ti recunosti marea suferinta? Mai bine o maschezi asumandu-ti suferintele mai mici. Apoi, cum sa-ti admiti inconsecventa fara sa rosesti? Insa, asta nu e, propriu-zis, problematic. Odata dezvaluita, descoperi ca e doar natural. Nici Nirvana nu dureaza o vesnicie, nu-i asa? Insa poate fi o stare ce care sa o regasesti de fiecare data cand e nevoie.
te-am tradat, prieten drag, asta asta e marea mea durere azi. Aveai nevoie de mine, iar eu n-am putut fi acolo pentru tine. Incercam sa analizez in ce masura e cineva acolo exact cand ai mare nevoie de el. Poate ca, tocmai prin absenta, rezultatul e unul pozitiv: descoperi ca te-ai inselat, ca nu aveai neaparata nevoie de prezenta. Asa cum, in realitate, eu mi-am servit scopului in viata ta. Ai descoperit ca, intr-adevar, nu sunt necesara, ca aveai deja ce iti trebuia. Candva, mi s-a insinuat in minte notiunea de “substitute people”, “disposable” – persoane care au unicul rol de a declansa mici cutremure care te fac sa intelegi cu adevarat ceea ce ai si ceea ce ai de facut. Rezultatul actiunii: fie te intorci la ceea ce aveai deja, numai cu o noua abordare, fie o schimbare completa, dar in care elementul catalizator nu-si mai regaseste locul, deoarece nu mai recunoaste acelasi teren ce poseda proprietatile necesare actiunii. Fireste, cu totii avem rolul si impactul acesta la un moment dat. Trist este pentru cei ce, prin natura lor, sunt doar catalizatori. E doar o functie trecatoare, o proprietate care se epuizeaza in timp, lasand goliciune doar in locul ei. Si un cadavru devorat de propriile pisici.
Cand am vorbit ultima data, mi-a placut sa-ti aud “acea” voce, lipsita de intonatiile amaraciunii, vinovatiei, reprosului. M-ai facut sa ma simt mai usoara, simtindu-ti din nou deschiderea si increderea. Era ceea ce trebui sa revina, si le apreciez revenirea, chiar daca pragul evidentei e mai jos. Imi esti atat de drag sufletului tocmai pentru complexitatea emotiilor care ti le datorez. Ma surprinde intotdeauna cat de variata si larga e gama trairilor legate de tine. Niciodata nu voi putea spune ca raman neafectata, in toate sensurile, chiar si cele negative. Am nevoie de polarizarea asta, care nici nu ar trebui vreodata sa se gaseasca in echilibru, pentru a nu atinge acel punct 0, de nemiscare si neafectare, de impietrire. Desi poate pentru tine, starea de neafectare si echilibru ar fi ceea ce ti-ai dori. Sper sa sesizez aceasta stare in momentul in care ea va aparea in tine.
Reciteam randurile de mai sus si am realizat saracia si insuficienta lor. Nici nu-i de mirare ca nu stii niciodata pe ce punct stai cu mine! Insa si daca m-as stradui sa reformulez, nu as stii cum sa o spun mai bine. Poate ca e suficient sa spun ca imediat ma duc la culcare, si tu vei fi cel care ma va tine in brate in noaptea asta. Fantasmatic, desigur. Adevarul e ca nu conteaza. Si ca, pentru moment, voi pune punct aici si ma voi intoarce spre tine sa te imbratisez.
Noapte buna.”

Inca o noapte insomniaca. Am privit ploaia pe terasa la 5 dimineata, si m-am intors catre fantomele mele. Se pare ca o sa ma urmeze pana la capat, oricat de departe as merge, oricat de mult timp ar trece. Nu-mi ramane decat sa le imbratisez, Pe fiecare in parte. Macar imi tin companie in goliciunea noptii.

Depeche Mode - Shake the Disease

2008-07-07T08:31:00.000-07:00

Inspiratia m-a parasit momentan. Ma pregatisem cu cana de ceai cu tot sa scriu ceva despre cat de ciudat este sa mai visezi la durabilitate, cum poti sa mai ai incredere in ceea ce credeai ca stii sau luai ca fiind acel "it comes without saying", mai ales ca nimic nu mai vine ca de la sine inteles. Oamenii sunt stranii. Asta e maxima mea, o repet de fiecare data cand ceva se petrece ce ma lasa cu acel "about:blank" in expresie.
Ok, si apoi intra pe fir piesa asta de dM, una din favoritele mele. Imi mai inspira naivitatea si speranta care inca se mai agata (a se citi cu accent de timp trecut)de cei 20 de anisori ai tai. Care, insa, iti va da drumul mai incolo. Asta e, ghearele se mai tocesc in timp. And you shake the disease.

"I’m not going down on my knees,
Begging you to adore me
Can’t you see its misery
And torture for me
When I’m misunderstood
Try as hard as you can, I’ve tried as hard as I could
To make you see
How important it is for me

Here is a plea
From my heart to you
Nobody knows me
As well as you do
You know how hard it is for me
To shake the disease
That takes hold of my tongue
In situations like these

Understand me

Some people have to be
Permanently together
Lovers devoted to
Each other forever
Now I’ve got things to do
And I’ve said before that I know you have too
When I’m not there
In spirit I’ll be there

Here is a plea
From my heart to you
Nobody knows me
As well as you do
You know how hard it is for me
To shake the disease
That takes hold of my tongue
In situations like these

Understand me"

Scarba

2008-05-09T00:37:00.000-07:00

Ok, voiam acum sa scriu in post luuuung si ultragiat legat de chestia asta, dar sincer simt ca numai cat mi-as forta tastatura degeaba.
Asa ca pun doar un link. Acesta: http://www.nsbm.org/...mai mult ca sa-mi reaminteasca de scuzele inventate de oameni pentru a-si manifesta pornirile violente. Fie el meci de fotbal (way to go, CFR!), fie neo-nazi infatuation.
Se numeste ca sunt scarbita si intristata ca oamenii ar avea capacitatea sa gandeasca, si esueaza lamentabil in a chiar o utiliza.

Rufus Wainwright - The Origin of Love (Hedwig and The Angry Inch OST)

2008-04-18T01:15:00.000-07:00

When the earth was still flat, and the clouds made of fire
And mountains stretched up to the sky, sometimes higher
Folks roamed the earth like big rolling kegs
They had two sets of arms, two sets of legs
They had two faces peering out of one giant head
And they could watch all around them
And they talked while they read
And they never knew nothing of love
It was before the origin of love
Origin of love

And there were three sexes then
One that looked like two men glued back to back
Called the children of the sun
And similar in shape and girth were the children of the earth
They looked like two girls rolled up in one
And the children of the moon were like a fork shoved on a spoon
They were part sun, part earth, part daughter, part son
Origin of love

Now the gods grew quite scared of our strength and defiance
And Thor said:
"I'm gonna kill them all with my hammer
Like I killed the giants."
And Zeus said:
"No, you better let me use my lightning, like scissors
Like I cut the legs off whales
And dinosaurs into lizards."
Then he grabbed up some bolts
And he let out a laugh, said:
"I'll split them right down to the middle
Gonna rip them right in half."
And then storm clouds gathered above
Into great balls of fire

And the fire shot down
From the sky in bolts
Like shining blades of a knife
And it ripped right through the flesh
Of the children of the sun
And the moon, and the earth
And some Indian god
Sewed the wound up into a hole
Pulled it 'round to our belly
To remind us of the price we pay
And Osiris and the gods of the Nile
Gathered up a big storm
To blow a hurricane
To scatter us away
In a flood of wind and rain
And a sea of tidal waves
To wash us all away
And if we dont behave
They'll cut us down again
And well be hopping round on one foot
Looking through one eye

Last time I saw you
We had just split in two
You were looking at me, and I was looking at you
You had a way so familiar
But I could not recognize
'Cause you had blood on your face
And I had blood in my eyes
But I could swear by your expression
That the pain down in your soul
Was the same as the pain down in mine
That's the pain
Cuts a straight line down through the heart
We call it love
So we wrapped our arms around each other
Trying to shove ourselves back together
We were making love
It was a cold dark evening such a long time ago
When by the mighty hand of Jove
It was the sad story
How we became lonely two-legged creatures
It's the story of
The origin of love
That's the origin of love, origin of love, origin of love

Chinese poet about tea

2008-04-13T05:56:00.001-07:00

"The first cup moistens my lips and throat, the second cup breaks my loneliness, the third cup searches my inmost being... The fourth cup raises a slight perspiration — all the wrong of life passes away through my pores. At the fifth cup I am purified; the sixth cup calls me to the realms of immortals. The seventh cup — ah, but I could take no more! I only feel the breath of cool wind that rises in my sleeves. Where is Heaven? Let me ride on this sweet breeze and waft away thither."

(Alan Watts, "The Spirit of Zen", 1958)

Faun - Rad

2008-04-11T03:57:00.000-07:00

Pentru ca, uneori, trebuie sa cedezi o batalie pentru a putea castiga razboiul.
"Tritt in den
Kreis zu mir
ein neuer tag
ist hier
Dein herz bricht
Dein herz bricht
ein neuer tag
ein neues licht

dreh dich nicht
um wenn du
nicht willst das
man dich sieht
die schlacht verloren
nicht den mut
ein neuer tag
ein alter krieg
Tritt in den
Kreis zu mir
gegen den

strom der zeit
kleiner schritt
letzte angst
ein neuer tag

ist nicht mehr weit
erinner dich
hoffnung kam
hoffnung zog weiter
3ein altes spiel
erinner dich
ein alter weg
ein neues ziel
Alter weg
neues ziel
fallen um zu fliegen
neuer tag
alter krieg
verlieren um zu siegen"

Lewis Carroll - Prologue to the Looking Glass

2008-04-11T02:53:00.000-07:00

Ante-Scriptum: This reminded me of the insanity of being in this world, of the madness that breathes down our necks, just waiting to grab hold. So long, then...Thy will be done.

Child of the pure unclouded brow
And dreaming eyes of wonder!
Though time be fleet, and I and thou
Are half a life asunder,
Thy loving smile will surely hail
The love-gift of a fairy-tale.

I have not seen thy sunny face,
Nor heard thy silver laughter;
No thought of me shall find a place
In thy young life’s hereafter –
Enough that now thou wilt not fail
To listen to my fairy-tale.

A tale begun in other days,
When summer suns were glowing –
A simple chime, that served to time
The rhythm of our rowing –
Whose echoes live in memory yet,
Though envious years would say ‘forget’

Come, hearken then, ere voice of dread,
With bitter tidings laden,
Shall summon to unwelcome bed
A melancholy maiden!
We are but older children, dear,
Who fret to find our bedtime near.

Without, the frost, the blinding snow,
The storm-wind’s moody madness –
Within, the firelight’s ruddy glow
And childhood’s nest of gladness.
The magic words shall hold thee fast:
Thou shalt not heed the raving blast.

And though the shadow of a sigh
May tremble through the story,
For ‘happy summer days’ gone by,
And vanish’d summer glory –
It shall not touch with breath of bale
The pleasance of our fairy-tale.

By the woods, by the woods

2008-02-01T01:50:00.000-08:00

A trecut tare mult de cand nu m-am mai ocupat de locul asta. Il simt impanzit de panze de paianjeni. "Vai mie, vai tie. Paianjeni negrii au impanzit apa vie..." parca era. A trecut mult timp si pentru mine. M-am desprins eu de atat de mult, am lasat farame din mine pe tot locul, insa le-a imprastiat vantul de toamna, iar acum nu ma mai pot regasi. Asa ca ma reconstruiesc. O bucatica de soare pe ici, o frunza prin par, o noua carte...sa vad cat de mult mai pot pune la mine.
Cranberries - "Not Sorry"

Keep on looking through the window again,

But I'm not sorry if I do insult you.
I'm sad, not sorry, 'bout the way that things went,
And you'll be happy and I'll be forsakin' thee.

I swore I'd never feel like this again,
But you're so selfish, you don't see
What you're doing to me,
I keep on looking through the window again.
No I'm not sorry if I do insult you.
No-o-o, I'm not sorry if I do insult you.

You told me lies, and I sighed, and I sighed, and I sighed.
'Cause you lied, lied, and I cried, yes I cried, yes, I cry, I cry, I try again.

I realize, as he sighed, and he sighed and he sighed.
'Cause you lied, lied, and I cried, yes I cried, yes, I cry, I cry, I try again.

Keep on looking through the window again,
But I'm not sorry if I do insult you.
I'm sad, not sorry, 'bout the way that things went,
And you'll be happy and I'll be forsakin' thee.

I swore I'd never feel like this again,
But you're so selfish,
You don't see what you're doing to me,
I keep on looking through the window again.
No I'm not sorry if I do detest you.
No-o-o, I'm not sorry if I do detest you.

You told me lies, and I sighed, and I sighed, and I sighed.
'Cause you lied, lied, and I cried, yes I cried, yes, I cry, I cry, I try again.

I realize, as he sighed, and he sighed and he sighed.
'Cause you lied, lied, and I cried, yes I cried, yes, I cry, I cry, I try again.

Keep on looking through the window again.
Keep on looking through the window again...

Ohayo, mina! sau despre ce ma intereseaza mai mult pe mine

2007-06-07T02:39:00.000-07:00

Voiam asta zi sa scriu despre ceva ce putea fi intrezarit intr-un post anterior, respectiv despre pasiunea mea pt Japonia, in special, si pentru Asia in general. OK, n-o sa va povestesc acum cum a inceput totul, in copilaria mea, cu cartile despre mitologie chineza, despre cultura si civilizatia japoneza and stuff like that. These are all just mine to know and care about. Insa despre faptul ca asta m-a transformat intr-un mare consumator actual de cultura asiatica (japoneza, coreeana, intra si chineza pe aici), asta e alta problema. De la anime la cinema, poezie, muzica si arte plastice, in fine...nu te poti pune cu obsesiile omului. Ma doare sa recunosc asta, dar ieri mi-am descoperit noul meu loc favorit. Intai sa ma explic de ce doare. Well, pe langa mare anime freak, mai sunt si gothic chick "always wearing black and talking about vampires and demons" type. Inainte, eram prezenta constanta in Nachtschatten a.k.a. Umbra de Noapte, the place for all us, "life is pain, life is misery" kids to hang. Evident, acum exagerez, locul ala e foarte cheerful si foarte plin de viata, despite all the black-and-red themes. Bun. Spuneam inainte. Intre timp, am descoperit ceainaria Yume. Yey! Happy happy happy, joy joy joy! Mi-am lasat cuminte incaltarile la intrare (regula locului) si am intrat in micul coltisor de Japonia, cum nu-mi inchipuiam posibil in Cluj. Masute joase, scaunele si cescute facute parca pentru the faery folk, extrem de delicate si delicios de discrete. Ca sa nu mai vorbesc despre selectia incredibila de ceaiuri, toate nemaipomenit de bune (mentionez ca sunt mare bautoare de ceai si cafea, si nu ma pot plange la nici una din sectiuni legat de Yume), preparate traditional si servite de personal imbracat in yukata (kimono din material usor, de vara). Cafeaua e foarte tare si buna (nota 10 - mi-a trecut urgent durerea de cap!), se gaseste si Sake, pe care nu l-am incercat, inca...mai e timp. (Nota: cred ca voi pati la fel ca si cu absynth-ul...frecventam Umbra de mai bine de un an pana cand am gasit momentul perfect pt a incerca absynth...hmm, cam dezamagitor, I'd say...no green faery, no visions ...*sigh*...imi ramane doar Baudelaire ). Bon! oh, era sa uit de muzica! silly me! evident, muzica japoneza, insa nu traditionala, ci cat se poate de actuala, o buna parte din OST-urile familiare din anime....anyway, pentru cazul in care nu am fost evidenta, I'm in love with that place! So...daca e cineva interesat, ceainaria Yume e pe Baba Novac. nr. 30, destul de aproape de Biserica Reformata "Sf. Gheorghe"...si daca vedeti cumva acolo o gothic chick cu par lung, rosu...that would be me *blushing* your average household demon, Maharet

Oops! I've been tagged...sniff, sniff

2007-06-07T01:40:00.000-07:00

Gata, manusa a fost aruncata, ma vad nevoita sa raspund.Asadar, dragul meu Oedip se tot straduieste de cateva zile sa ma introduca in circuit, iar ultima lui gaselnita este sa incerc sa pun in cuvinte ce-mi doresc si ce caut, insa nu voi gasi vreodata. Of, cheri, were it that easy!
But here goes nothing!
Ce-mi doresc eu: strazi pustii in zile senine si curcubee in zile ploioase...kidding, this is a bit too emo for me >:) sau, ca sa citez semnatura cuiva de pe unul din forum-urile pe care le frecventez, "As vrea sa nu mai vreau nimic, dar sa fie de aur". Poate ca asta e ceea ce, paradoxal, imi doresc realmente: sa nu mai sufar de dorinte, sa cunosc starea perfecta de nemiscare. Imposibil, n'est-ce pas? Asa ca mai bine imi doresc sa fi avut mai mult timp cu tine, mon Louis (hehe! my dirty lil'secret...da, cu totii avem demonii nostri ascunsi sub pat, iar eu un motiv pt acest blog), ca sa apuc sa ma dezintoxic, in loc sa simt cum imi atarna de gat semnele de intrebare.
Imi doresc un apus de soare pictat de Monet, vazut de pe acoperisul blocului meu intr-un sfarsit de august.
Poate sa ma lase dracului viata in pace...nu ma pot prinde ce naiba mai vrea de la mine, stiu numai ca eu nu mai vreau nimic de la ea, pretinde un pret prea mare pentru prea putin. Una salus victis - probabil de asta am inceput blog-ul.
Ce caut eu si probabil n-o sa gasesc vreodata: well, Intrebarea! legata de sensul Vietii, Universului si tot Restul, ca Raspunsul il am deja :D... e 42
Si cu asta cred ca m-am achitat de datorie...daca, by mere chance, cineva vede asta si decide sa preia tag-ul, feel free and let me know when you do. If not, of well!

Un homme, une femme, parfait melange

2007-06-04T01:34:00.000-07:00

Unul se contopește în celălalt, se pierd reîntalnindu-se în false paradoxuri. Ea vrea sa trăiască toate experiențele pentru a putea vorbi și ea, la rândul ei, de acele lucruri care îți fac inima să bată mai repede. El e străinul prin excelență, întotdeauna cuprinzând alteritatea, prea confuz pentru a înțelege cine e el, cel stăpânit de scriitură. Este dragostea pentru cuvântul scris, scriitura care deține puterea și folosește ființa umană doar ca vehicol. În 1996, Peter Greenaway reușește să abordeze în filmul The Pillow Book, cu un efort admirabil de înțelegere, structurile mentale japoneze, complet diferite de cele occidentale și virtualmente inaccesibile în afara Asiei.Toate acestea fără pretenții de explicitare, deși ironică este încercarea (reușită, de altfel) eroinei Nagiko de a vorbi engleza cu accent american, tocmai pentru a se elibera de marca asiatică și pentru a se camufla mai bine, însă ignorând faptul că limba engleză este incapabilă să cuprindă constructele mentale asiatice. Acest fapt nu face decât să încurce și mai mult spectatorul occidental, care ar trebui să-și resemnifice complet limbajul pentru a putea cuprinde modulatiile afective ale filmului.
"Când Dumnezeu a făcut primul model de lut al unei fiinţe umane, i-a pictat ochii, buzele și sexul. Apoi a pictat numele fiecărei persoane, ca nu cumva aceasta să îl uite. Dacă Dumnezeu era mulţumit de creaţia sa, o aducea la viață semnând-o cu propriul său nume."
Omul a fost creat din plăcerea literară a divinității. Singurul mod prin care omul poate deveni asemeni creatorului, este să creeze, la rândul său. Căutarea lui Nagiko-san este dorința de a avea ceva propriu ei, de a scoate ceva ce să-i aparțină ei în totalitate, așa cum ea a fost creația tatălui ei. Revine mereu la această temă, a căutării, pe un palier, a amantul caligraf ideal și pe celălalt palier, a retribuției pentru ofensele aduse de Editor, altă figura de control, deoarece el deține puterea, el decide valoarea scriiturii, care crește proporțional cu materialul pe care este scris. Nu orice corp este potrivit ca suport al scrierii, fiecare iși are locul bine stabilit, căpătând valoare numai după ce își este apropriat celor doi poli de putere. Nagiko, care scrie cărțile, dându-le viața prin aplicarea semnăturii ei, Editorul, care pune stăpânire pe ele, singurul care le poate aprecia și da marca de literatură.
Cartea de căpătâi este, inițial, un cadru de eliberare față de lucrurile care o iritau pe Nagiko. Primul incendiu o va ajuta să se desprindă de prima dare de seamă, fugind in căutarea experiențelor care s-o ajute să calce cu adevărat pe urmele primei Nagiko Sei Shonagon. Ea va evolua, de la a fi pânza pe care se scrie în scriitor/creator a cărei unică mișcare este pentru creație, în căutarea acelui care va putea să dea viață scriiturii, prin ea. Îl va găsi în persoana lui Jerome, un translator englez, autor și căutător, la rândul său, însă nemulțumit de ceea ce era, și cu prea puțină imaginație pentru a putea creea cu adevărat. De aceea, el iși va implini adevăratul scop numai mult mai târziu, devenind veritabila creație și unicul suport adecvat al Cărții de căpătâi. Nagiko se va folosi, inițial, de Jerome, pentru a ajunge la Editorul al cărui amant era acesta, același Editor care i-a rănit orgoliul, refuzând-o, tot el fiind cel care i-a umilit tatăl. Jerome va lua totul în glumă, realizând prea târziu faptul că nu mai era un joc, că trădarea sa nu va rămâne nepedepsită. Singura opține rămasă lui va fi, atunci, de a-și asuma rolul de scriitură și creație, trăind în Cartea a VI-a, a Amantului.
Al doilea incediu este cel care o readuce pe Nagiko la adevărata sa țintă, aceea de a deveni pe deplin creatoare. Cele treisprezece cărți spun mișcările lui Nagiko, care se apropie din ce în ce mai mult de împlinirea scopurilor ei. Ea își respectă angajamentul luat nu numai față de amantul ei, Jerome, ci și față de Editor, oferindu-i calea onorabilă de retribuție a greșelilor față de tatăl ei, față de soțul ei, dar, mai ales, a sacrilegiului implinit. Editorul a trăit destul, acum e momentul disoluției legăturilor. Ultima carte va fi și cea care va aduce justificarea acțiunilor lui Nagiko, actiuni ce, odată înțelese, nu pot avea altă finalitate decât cea a dispariției figurii de control.
Finalul este simbolic. Jerome își redobândește locul, el aparție în întregime eroinei, îndeplinindu-și existența numai prin mijlocirea ei. Noua viața și începutul se vede legănat de trecut, asigurând continuitatea spiritului creației. Este momentul în care Nagiko, acum de 28 ani, poate să pună cu adevărat punct Cărții ei de căpătâi, la o mie de ani după ce predecesoarea ei a scris-o, știind că într-adevăr acum și ea a trăit suficiente pentru a putea face o listă cu acele lucruri splendide care fac inima să tresalte. Ultimul act de creație a fost implinit, acum Nagiko semnându-și numele pe copilul ei, miracolul perfecțiunii caligrafice.
"Sărutul unui iubit în gradina Matsuo Tuisha; Ape tăcute și ape zgomotoase; Dragoste în amiază ca imitaţie a istoriei; Dragostea înainte și dragostea după; Trupul și măsuța de scris; A scrie despre dragoste si a o găsi."

Pentru ca-mi lipsesti, prietene, cu toate contradictiile tale...

2007-06-01T08:59:00.000-07:00

Leonard Cohen - Hallelujah

I heard there was a secret chord
That David played and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
It goes like this, the fourth, the fifth, the minor fall, the major lift, the baffled king composing Hallelujah

Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelu----jah

Your faith was strong but you needed proof, you saw her bathing on the roof, her beauty in the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you to a kitchen chair, she broke your throne, she cut your hair, and from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelu----jah

Maybe I have been here before, I know this room; I have walked this floor, I used to live alone before I knew you
I've seen your flag on the marble arch, love is not a victory march, it's a cold and its a broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelu----jah

There was a time you let me know whats really going on below, but now you never show it to me, do you? (and)
Remember when I moved in you; the holy dark was moving too, and every breath we drew was Hallelujah

Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelu----jah

Maybe there's a God above, and all I ever learned from love was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
And its not a cry you can hear at night, its not somebody who's seen the light, its a cold and its a broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelu--jah

Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelu---u---jah

Following the White Rabbit

2007-05-18T17:11:00.000-07:00

When logic and proportion
Have fallen softly dead
And the White Knight is talking backwards
And the Red Queen's "off with her head!"
Remember what the dormouse said:"Feed your head"

"Wake up, Dormy! It's time for a tea-party!", I heard. Uhm, huh?! Oh, yeah! now I remember! Falling through the rabbit hole... Have a cake! And the tea's too hot, but it doesn't really matter, cause there's actually no tea anyway, so I'll just stirr my tea-spoon in the cup, to cool it down a bit. And falling, and falling, and falling...and screaming, and screaming again cause the ground refuses to stop my fall, so on my way down I see the faces of the ones I used to know glaring at me through stained glass, and the ones I loved waved from the shelves...Oh, how nice of you to try and catch me! Why, yes, I would like to have a cup of tea with you! I'll get back to you just as soon as this damned fall will stop. Did I love you? I don't seem to recall...
*Sigh* What if this never stops? I suspect... oh, that can't be true... though it makes sense, so here it goes: I suspect I'll never stop falling and I'll never get to finish my tea - it'll never get cold this way!
Oh, the tea-party! Right, right, some cake will be perfect...mushroom cake, if you please, mr. Hatter, and then I'll reverse the order of logics and fall into my pool of tears. Run, Rabbit, run! there are bunnies everywhere, staring at you from the ceiling, blinking their blank red eyes... I'm scared...hold me...I keep falling.

...or what comes after all the voices go to sleep

Stairway to Heaven

Neruda mood

Until...

Gallows

Meiko Kaji mood

Dokka de oai shita koto arimasu ka?

Victor Hugo - Demain, dès l'aube

Charles Baudelaire - Femmes Damnées (Delphine et Hippolyte)

Of Beren and Lúthien

Whispers of a Distant Star

There's a secret garden she hides

Say...will you dream with me tonight...?

Gabrielle Angelique - Ancient Souls

Can I actually still believe in this?

Bring me your peace and my wounds, they will heal

The Stolen Child - William Butler Yeats

D'espairsRay - Forbidden

Wislawa Szymborska – Nevasta lui Lot

Sebastian

You judged me once for falling

...in every part of me is still a part of you

Litany Against Fear

Seara de povesti pentru cei mici si cei mari

.....

...

My quote of the day

Standing next to me

My single greatest fear

Queen of Pain

The Children's Bible in a Nutshell

Dreams of Fire

Sleeping with Ghosts

Depeche Mode - Shake the Disease

Scarba

Rufus Wainwright - The Origin of Love (Hedwig and The Angry Inch OST)

Chinese poet about tea

Faun - Rad

Lewis Carroll - Prologue to the Looking Glass

By the woods, by the woods

Ohayo, mina! sau despre ce ma intereseaza mai mult pe mine

Oops! I've been tagged...*sniff, sniff*

Un homme, une femme, parfait melange

Pentru ca-mi lipsesti, prietene, cu toate contradictiile tale...

Following the White Rabbit

Oops! I've been tagged...sniff, sniff